The truth wrapped in a bed of lies.

A day in the life

2006-03-31T15:46:34Z

I stepped lightly, skipping as I walked to Means in the warm, summery evening. Wet Hot American Summer was playing on McDonough Field last night, and students were crowded with their blankets and chairs. I leaned against the fence, watching two cute boys toss a frsibee back and forth while the movie was playing. On Tuesday, Spoon came to Emory and we had a concertfest outside. SPC set up four square in chalk all over campus, and in the sunny warmth of the day, students were tossing back and forth a red dodgeball, blissfully reminding me of elementary school.

It felt like summers on the green yesterday. I imagined Breakfast at Tiffany's playing, and Blues Traveler on the green. I remember how we had fried chicken, bread, lemonade, and cookies.

I've recently felt overwhelmed by the slew of activities, rushing towards me. I need to register for next year's classes, finish my application for yet another summer internship/job, and patiently wait to hear from MORE, FAME, and other activities which I want to pursue next year. It felt as if freshmen year would never come, and now I wonder where it's gone. I went to florida with the crew team for spring break. I joined a sorority. I learned that it's okay not to be perfect at everything the first time and it's okay to fail (oh wait, didn't I learn that senior year? okay I don't mean a class though) Life feels so immensely different, and yet yesterday has thrown me back into nostalgia. And if i can't post on nostalgia, what the hell is this journal good for? I haven't been home since winter break, and I'm okay with that. However, I am starting to miss the carefree and relaxed days of summer, I'm starting to miss my cat, my bed, and doing nothing. I'm starting to miss not having to study every moment of my life, and I'm starting to miss everyone, all of you guys.

This has flown by. I'm ready to slow down now.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2006-02-03T00:02:00

2006-02-03T05:04:55Z

I don't normally post but perhaps for those who read, here's an update on my life.

i joined a sorority. that's right. no regrets. it's amazing.
it's been in the 60s and sunny every day here.
i'm taking 6 classes including some ridiculous latin amer politics class and i might just die
i need to figure out housing next year
i will hopefully find an amazing job for the summer.
fuck that, hopefully it will be one that pays well
financial aid screwed me over for my summer in france
second semester looks like it'll be more organized but more fun than 1st. who woulda thunk?
i stil miss everyone but craig keeps me company when i feel nostalgic and he's a cool kid.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-10-17T11:55:00

2005-10-17T18:58:14Z

for all you cold weather fiends
this is the outdoor pool at emory at the clairmont apartments

now will you come visit me?

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-09-21T01:45:00

2005-09-21T05:50:45Z

All right poons, you thought I swore off college but I need to do the mandatory college update.

So basically college and i have avery loving relationship, because im having a lot of fun. maybe too much. maybe that's why i'm at until 2:30 am at least, doing homework and studying. i'm really going to stay on top of things this time, I swear! Annnyways really quickly since im tired, a lot of parties, a lot of frats, a lot of foam (err, yeah for real... at the frat parties) a lot of drinking, a lot of people i dont know, songfest fun, and boys that wont stick around long enough to date. but that's okay because im coxing a whole boatload of boys. speaking of which, crew is physically kicking my butt. training with the men's team is exhausting im always sore, but if you had any idea how good a shape im in, you'd be feeling the burn too (aka i ran 5 miles on stone mountain with the guys and today was 2.5 gym circuit training at the phys center...aka gym) i work at the center for women, i have a full course load, an amazing roommate, a cozy room, and friends that almost make me feel like it's home. emory is even making me considering rushing for a sorority. you better believe it. i'm still the same me though, i promise. hope high school is okay for all your kiddies there. and i hate high school facebook. all in all, im good, but i still miss and love you all.

must study
peace out

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-08-28T01:56:00

2005-08-28T05:57:15Z

im never on this

i kayaked through a HURRICANE, camped out in nowhere, stayed on a deserted island, lost all my shit (INCLUDING CELL PHONE ATM CARD AND WALLET) in savannah where it now must be shipped back to me, and i am having a fucking awesome time

holy shit i love college

i hope everyone else is having an amazing time

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-08-10T01:41:00

2005-08-10T05:43:07Z

im never on livejournal

how about im leaving for college exactly 8 days from now

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-06-29T01:09:00

2005-06-29T05:10:15Z

AHHH MUST SLEEP

leaving for europe- crazy maizie!

2 weeks

i best get some emails bizatches :)

ashleelee822@msn.com
or altran@emory.edu
whichever floats your boat

gooood bye ya'll!

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-05-26T18:46:00

2005-05-26T22:46:30Z

NO RELAY MEETING TONIGHT
CHANGED TO MILLER LIBRARY TUESDAY NIGHT 7:30

Please still solicit and fundraise this weekend! Also, for those who don't have forms, please call me,

Sorry that all this is so delayed guys

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-05-25T21:56:00

2005-05-26T01:56:17Z

this night was shitting all over me but now I can't help but laugh!

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-05-23T20:20:00

2005-05-24T00:20:23Z

for everyone else, it seems like senior year is going just right.

so why is it going so wrong for me?

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-05-12T22:49:00

2005-05-13T03:02:13Z

Life's been such an adventure recently, it's been giving me a headache. and sometimes, not in the good way.

I haven't been here in years! Well then. I guess today's your lucky day. First trip to the beach and a dropping of the AP Chem class culminates in rather pleasant afternoons. I guess I had a pseude crying meltdown today, as noted by Mr. Peterman, who, despite his disliking of me, actually made a note of concern, and I proceeded to melt down in the dial room. But besides that, I would like to note that Neel and Kevin are truly wonderful, Craig's a bit off, and my life is one big social soap opera wrapped up in nice weather and pretty shoes. Speaking of which. shopping adventure today with Janessa that was ENTIRELY FRUITLESS! Gee whiz. But I walked into Seychelles and melted. Oh such beautiful gowns. THen I went home and tried on my ao dai and immediately felt upset. It looks even worse than last month. What is going on here?

So I visited the mall. It was supposed to be the new hunt for shoes, but instead turned into turn ashlee into a happy little girl. One ATM trip and two circlings of the 2nd floor later, I found myself at the Limited. Just as I was ready to sink into this season's lovely shades of coral, turquoise, and lavender, I noticed the big sign on the front entrance. "This Limited LOcation will be CLOSING." WHAT?!!? CLOSING?!?! MY ALL TIME FAVORITE STORE? I was done. I couldn't do it. WHy are they closing? Why would they do this to me?! It's bad enough that Entrance 7 closed so I had to walk alll the way around the mall, adn that I missed the mall exit by 2, but to close the Limited was sin. HELL AND DAMNATION! NOt the point. the point is, I was shopping, at the mall, alone. Is that weird? I don't know. THe thing is, I feel like shopping at the mall alone is okay when you are running in quickly, but I was actually perusing. i enjoyed it...after all, I could take my time, mill around, properly evaluate, and form closing and lasting relationshpis with the soon-to-be-leaving salesgirls at the LImited. Yet, it felt strange. I don't know. Just weird I guess. I felt really...alone. And I mean alone against the sea of ugly clothing in forever 21. I thought I would catch a deal there, but instead I caught the all ugly slutty clothing in connecticut conference. It as awful. ANd mesh. SO MUCH MESH I WAS GOING TO DIE. besides the death by mesh though, really, I felt alone shopping all by myself. I guess that's what I get. BUt I need second opinions and help and a friend. I need to relax, really.

I guess the fashion rundown of the day was awful. But I made cupcakes. I got lost. Multiple times. on the way back. Yes. that's right. It was good to strut in my heels down the mall, all by myself, and feel okay. YOu know, I'm excited for prom. And I gave MIke sasso a ride home today! Sometimes things...I don't know. But I know that it was gorgeous out today, I'm not so bitter, and I know things will be okay. It's not marriage right? Right? And they can keep secrets from me, but I'll always have myself. and you. and you.

oh wanker.
yeah I miss him too.
Today was a charlotte church, be independent, deep breaths, loner shopping kind of day.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-04-27T20:13:00

2005-04-28T00:15:02Z

my life lacks an update.

so here we go. on the trivial, petty, materialistic side of things, ive spent some money.
i've learned my lines.
i need to practice my closing.
oh geez tomorrow we go
oh geez i need to do homework
oh boy i havent been to school in practically 3 days
and i love it when life is okay

college is going to be crazy
get me outta here!

and kevin coughlin is the most fantastic person i've ever met in life
really kev

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-04-25T01:14:00

2005-04-25T05:17:00Z

I've discovered that while the First Years need a roommate service works well to find a roommate, if you read the guys section, it can also function as a potential dating service

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-04-23T18:40:00

2005-04-23T22:41:01Z

eeeeeeee

im facebooked out (i really need to stop)
and all these happy people have emailed me interested in being my roommate (on a First Year Need a Roomate? conference)

AHHHH
I need to go to college
and I love learnlink@emory

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-04-16T21:50:00

2005-04-17T01:51:46Z

underappreciated things that people dont do:

send flowers
send regular mail by post

indianapolis whooped my ass. redemption must come tomorrow; nonetheless, sweet tea and funny friends came out of that trip.
I haven't updated in years. it's only because i hate the world, i promise.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-04-03T12:08:00

2005-04-03T16:10:56Z

Let's not break the college spirit.

So all those most of you already know, let's run through it anyways,

Accepted
UCONN
Emory

Rejected
Brown
Yale
Tufts
Georgetown
College of WIlliam and Mary
University North Carolina

Pending
Johns Hopkins

In the words of becky, in just a few short days I will be visitng Emory University, as part of the CLass of 2009. I wish everyone the best of luck. Oh georgia and jimmy (carter), here I come. as a last bit of sidenote, yes I'm going to college with craig and yes I am okay with it. I hope to tan well down there.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-03-27T23:20:00

2005-03-28T04:21:38Z

this weekend, starting wednesday night, has been so satifyingly fantastic.

dear journal,

2005-03-26T14:03:40Z

1. thank you to mer and john for kindly informing me of the remade Little House on the Prairie movie that will be on ABC on Sunday night at 8. I will be sitting and doing nothing else but watching that. and rereading. the old ones really needed to be updated. AHHH thanks guys!!! eeee excitement

nothing to say, nothing to do, nothing for me, and nothing for you. I have yet to get into college. this is very frustrating.
this weekend has been absolutely fantastic, and it really started wednesday evening.

beautiful.
for all that it's been, im content. it will get thrown into turmoil later, but im content.
and more importantly, i feel almost secure. in a lot of things. sometimes talking is really helpful. actually not sometimes, but always.

i feel like i havent seen her in years. do you feel like that?

and oohh college

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-03-22T21:58:00

2005-03-23T02:58:53Z

Dear Everyone,

In the midsts of your busy days, please click here to help give clean water to the 1 billion people who do not have any access.

aquaplastics for freshwater

much love

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-03-19T23:41:00

2005-03-20T04:41:27Z

i know that being teenagers, we're all insecure
but i really hate blatantly insecure people

i also am feeling very irritated.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-03-16T21:11:00

2005-03-17T02:13:04Z

wow, today has been a day bloated with immaturity, pettiness, cattiness, and unfortunate bad moods.

Luckily, minus the worst french class inthe history of america, im fine.

You know what will always be ironic?
yes that will always be ironic.

truly madly deeply

2005-03-14T16:20:02Z

One of these days, livejournal is going to expand itself and become a forum for all this change, and people wll post really witty and significant commentary, and the internet will become revised...

maybe I've been reading too much in the ender's series.

I thought that I've waited a few days without posting anything significant, and perhaps I really ought to update life happenings. Not to say that anything particularly interesting has hit home, but it's nice to know the gods have not forsaken me entirely. ha.

Besides the fact that I'm entirely swamped with work, without motivating myself to do any of it, I have to say that I'm pretty content. I'm feeling under pressure, but not from school. Memorizing my oratorical speeches, my lines, and closing arguments just in case. So much memorization, I mean really really a lot. Perhaps I ought to put my speech lines on notecards. That was pretty effective for closing arguments. Anyways, this entry is actually meant to be fairly informative, and if not informative, then at least meant for reading, not for my own posting purposes. So I'll move on from this entirely disinteresting subject. but the theater warlord has spared my life and give me a part in the show. it's sloppy seconds. and tracey isn't in it. and i feel terrible. but spite and contempt for mainstage must be reduced by the fact that life has handed me an opportunity and I must accept and work it with grace and ability. Dear Mainstage, I will indeed play Mrs. Stanley as to the best of my ability, and will not be spiteful. sincerely, ashlee tran. moving on. Theme of the year. college? already? please? I really cannot handle this whole blahdeblah failing calc and chem thing without knowing that I must pass so I can graduate high school in order to go to college. "full acceptance is contingent upon your graduation from high school." ay. Although I did have a vicious dream last night about lily and a camera, HRC conference, not waking up early enough, badly cooked shrimp that looked like brains, and baked goods. I woke up this morning to a) my mom asking whether or not I had to get up at 6 today for the conference (no. but she woke me up anyway), and b) to a plate of baked goods sitting on the counter, including a cake made by my father, who never does things like that. I took a slice of the chocolate cake and immediately spat it up. I should've known. For the amazing chef that my dad is, he can never bake anything that's remotely plain.

Needless to say, the pineapples and oranges covertly hidden on the bottom of the cake, covertly made it into the bottom of the garbage.

Puh-tewy. Oh papa. Next time let me bake.

My room felt stuffy yesterday, as it still does, so I opened the window. Wide. Let the air and sun really stream into my room. Of course I became freezing almost immediately, but that's really irrelevant. THe real point is that perhaps spring is finally coming, that winter has left us, and that I can bask in the sun and forget about all of this mess we affectionately call life. I really wish it were 3598259 degrees out, and that I was on the green, helping out with the festival, or painting some small child's face. oh love love love love. and I meant the painting small child's face as in face painting for fun parade times, not for ritualistic sacrificing of small children. oh dear. other important notes. orson scott card signed my book, shadow of the giant, which also made me sob. and I saw robots with leah and kev last night. "im made of afraidium, it's yellow, and tastes like chickeeeeeennn." mmmm

I think my cat deserves a photo. the heater is on and she's curled up against it.
that's sometimes all I ever need, something warm, someone warm, to curl up against, and to fall asleep.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-03-11T16:53:00

2005-03-11T21:56:04Z

my finger is swollen. both middle fingers. from the rush of blood, vessels filling because i warmed them too quickly.

i was shoveling the driveway, at the frozen snow that had iced over in the night, hidden underneath the fresh layer of new snow.
I shoveled. hard. angry. switching to the steel tipped tool to plow away at the ice, that wouldn't move, that I couldn't get at. I kept going. harder. my hair flying in my face, toussled and angry. I pushed and the shovel became lodged under a shelf of ice. I stumbled. the shovel dropped.

my fingers are still swollen.
ready to burst.

fyrefairie1022 @ 2005-03-06T00:08:00

2005-03-06T05:08:32Z

THE PHOTOS ARE BIG IM SORRY I DONT FEEL LIKE RESIZING THEM AGAIN

the picture entry

2005-03-06T05:05:40Z

I've been meaning to post these for awhile. Includes: Mock trial photos, but not from competition, just candids, New Year's Eve/New Years NYC photos, random pictures, a lot with me in them, my family maybe? who knows. point is, there's quite a few, i may or may not put captions, but I thought i'd share. sorry there all from awhile back, sort of .

rachel who's a nut teaming it up and rockin the mock

ian who is less hardworking

pensive lily by rockefeller rink

rockefeller christmas tree

lily by giant ornaments!

group shot

dinner group shot

john's a slut in my dress

aerial view, compliments of kevin's shoulders, of the crowd facing times square...PACKED!

aerial view 2

the four seasons of ashlee tran?

chinese new year randomness

my cool sneakers that are the best things that ever sex with me
im in love

and that's all for now folks
to all a good night
and big river was good, kind of ong, music good for the most part, i nodded off during the last song, or the second to last song i mean